My 2013.

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Another year just flew by. Like every year, this year too had its fair share of ups and downs. I think this was one of those years where I learned a lot about life. I got to know more about friendship, time, distance, family, love, hatred and perhaps even myself.

The year started off pretty normally. At that point, I was just waiting for my board exams to get over because it felt like this sword dangling above my head. Not that I was under pressure. I was just afraid of letting people down, because I did that quite a few times already. March was the month of the exams, and that went off very quickly. Also, towards the end of March, I met one person who means a LOT to me. I got my results in June, and I did do quite well, so the people I care about weren’t let down for once.

Half the year passed by, and then it was time to step into a new world : college. I had several doubts within me. I chose a course which wasn’t what one would call mainstream. Also, I don’t cope well with change, and after being in a school for 12 years, this was truly a big step for me. However, I realized I did the right thing choosing what I wanted. When you choose what you really want, everything else just has a way of falling into place. I have made some great friends in college. Although my course hasn’t lived up to my expectations, I do have fun. So, yes, things seemed fine. The rest of the months were pretty much the same, with the usual drama here and there. Soon enough, it was October and I officially became an adult. I didn’t feel any different though, but it just gave me a new outlook to life. If I compare the person I was, and the person I am, I must say I have changed. But then again, as time passes, everybody changes. It just depends on whether you change for the good or the bad, and in my case, it’s the former. As mentioned in my earlier posts, I had a great birthday this year. November passed off uneventfully, and it was finally time for December : my favourite time of the year.

Everything about December enchants me. But, this year, December turned out to be the worst month for me as I found out that the person I love the most is suffering from cancer, and that chances of survival are one in a million. Initially, the news broke me. I never hit this kind of a low ever. I still cannot come to terms with it. It is very hard for me to deal with it because none of us are good with losing people we love. Although I must say I’m lucky enough to have a good support system with me. Like the optimist I am, I did find a few positives from this as well. And moreover, life does not wait for anyone, it goes on. My hope is still intact, because I believe in miracles.

So, I don’t particularly have any new year resolutions. My whole outlook on life has sort of changed after this incident. At the end of the day, all we need is people who genuinely care about us. This new year, I do not have much expectations, because one thing I learned is that we cannot control or speculate about the future. Whatever has to happen, will happen. In the meanwhile, all we can do is live more, and when I say live more, I do not mean anything crazy or wild. Just get rid of all the negativity – anger, hatred, jealousy – and replace them with positivity. Only then will we be able to truly live more, in the truest sense of the term.

Happy New Year 2014 🙂 

Wake up and live.

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I had a great birthday this year. Almost everything was close to perfect, which was so unlike last year. Trust me when I say EVERYTHING went wrong last year. And yes, I also cried. It may sound dramatic, but hey, who wants to cry on their birthday? Anyway, it is no secret that our mindset affects our life in more ways than we could imagine. Someone with positive thinking can find fragrance even in flowers made of paper, whereas a person with negative thinking may find it difficult to extract fragrance even from an actual rose. But then, our mindset has to be born from within us. No one can ever be truly happy if they keep expecting happiness from other people. Of course, some special people can make us happy. But even then, it would be wrong for us to always expect them to make us happy. We need to understand that only one person can be given the responsibility of keeping us happy, and that is ourselves. Let’s face it, there are some things you do alone. And this is one of those things. If people make you happy, then that’s fantastic, but you need to make yourself happy first to allow others to make you happy.

I did this mistake last year. I was too dependent on people. Instead of taking charge of my own happiness, I waited for other people to make me happy. That lead to a lot of crap which ended up with me crying my eyes out. To be honest, a day before my birthday this year, I again started feeling the weight of everything that happened last year. I felt maybe the same things would repeat. Perhaps things won’t go as planned or maybe something would go wrong. But that’s when I questioned myself : Why do I need other people to make me happy? Except for a few, I shouldn’t really give everybody so much of importance. And that is when I did things that made me happy – I started reading a great book, listened to the Pussycat Doll and Guns n Roses, saw a few Superwoman videos on Youtube, and yeah, that made me more happy than I could imagine. Again, happiness is a relative term. What makes me happy, may not make you happy, and that’s fine. Do whatever makes you happy. Life is short, and before we know it, we are at the last chapter. And I sure as hell wouldn’t want to sit and regret then, thinking about all the times I should’ve taken control of my own happiness. 

All of us go through trying experiences which may still affect us in some way or the other. Those experiences are capable of upsetting us. But, letting go off the pain is the first step to happiness. What has happened has happened. No matter how much you cry, yell, fret or sulk, nothing is going to change the past. But you can change the present, and do yourself a favour and stay happy. No revenge is sweeter than being happy in front of the people who upset you. So, if someone made you feel bad or upset, just smile and enjoy your life while karma does its job. I don’t know if you may agree with me, but if you are someone who has just fought with a loved one, had a break up, or failed at something, let me just tell you it gets better, much better. Take it from someone who has been through all the three – life does not wait for you. Take charge of your own life before its too late.